A few weeks back at worship I handed out Advent chocolate calendars. Like myself many years ago, the kids were thrilled to receive these gifts. With the adults I tried to emphasize the gift of time Advent offers us: 672 hours, 28 days and 4 Sundays…this time is meant for us to unwrap the meaning of Emmanuel- God with us. In adulthood there is probably no daily nugget which could reproduce the same kind of excited expectancy in the December run-up to Christmas. But given how frantic those December days can be, and in honor of the “12 Days of Christmas” song, perhaps the pointers below might help you to make this time less stressful, more enjoyable and Christ-filled!
- Start with stillness. There is always so much to be done between the beginning of December and Christmas, so before starting go somewhere quiet where you can shut out the drumbeat of demands and be still. Gaining a sense of poise might be your greatest gift to family and friends, as well as fellow workers and shoppers and, of course, any harried shop assistants you might encounter! As Gandhi wrote, “Be the calm you want to see!”
- Let love lead you. Once you have gained that inner poise, take opportunities to spread seasonal “peace and goodwill”. I have certainly been pleasantly surprised to find how reordering priorities to put love’s possibilities first can instill a sense of calmness and control which allows you to get everything done more smoothly.
- Valuing family and friends. Many of us send greetings or letters to family and friends this time of year. As you sign, seal and send your Christmas cards treat each one as an opportunity to value the person you are sending it to and offer them in prayer while you do it.
- Be kind to yourself and others. Science and research has shown over and over again that kindness is good for your health. As we hustle and bustle, let’s remember to be polite and that we are all in this together. So, let others go ahead of you in line. Be patient with the sales clerk. Apologize if you bump into someone.
- Shop simply: I’m often struck at how we over complicate these days with fancy gifts and trying to outdo others. The best gifts are simple and come from the heart not the wallet.
- Embrace spontaneity. We are all busy these days of December with parties, shopping, baking, traveling, wrapping, visiting, etc. Don’t see these things as a “to do” list but rather as an opportunity to grow, learn, reconnect and enjoy life.
- Be grateful. Scientists are accumulating evidence which verifies what spiritual thinkers would affirm from experience: a gratitude attitude can reduce anxiety and depression. To those for whom the holiday season exacerbates such problems the good news is we don’t have to wait for a big reason to be grateful. Stop and smell the roses: appreciate the everyday things of life!
- Enjoy yourself. Why not? If you’re full of gratitude and exuding calmness and kindness why shouldn’t you cruise happily towards the kind of Christmas you enjoy? Appreciate the festive lights. Warm your hands on a bag of roast chestnuts. Share in the growing anticipation of small children. Look forward to National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, It’s a Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story special. Pick up your bible and meditate on the Christmas story and let the message inspire you.
- But don’t forget others. Okay, it’s not all bright lights, warm chestnuts and happy kids. For some reason the season of goodwill seems to bring out the worst in many people’s experience. Loneliness feels more lonely. Alcoholism seems to be more obvious. Domestic tensions can spiral. Spare a prayer for those in need and, when you can, make a difference in practical ways. The message of Christmas is that peace and goodwill are God’s intention for everyone. We can try to bring out that reality by giving from the heart.
- Peace interludes. Pausing for moments of mental stillness can make all the difference in how you think about yourself and act towards others. In turn that can transform your day. This doesn’t need to mean breaking your stride and finding a quiet corner to be by yourself, though sometimes that can help! It means being honestly aware of your thoughts and when they start going round in circles or racing in a wrong direction steering them back to that place of spiritual poise.
- Forgive even if you can’t forget. This is the Nelson Mandela approach to rocky relationships. It is amazing how long family feuds and broken friendships can last if we’re not careful. As the Mayo clinic recently put it: “If you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.” We can’t always change others. But we can change how we think about them and act towards them.
- Give beyond the gifts. And finally it’s Christmas day! There is a reason to celebrate Jesus. One way to look at his life is that he showed us how the qualities we choose to express can improve our experience and touch our loved ones and neighbors. I’m always touched seeing families and individuals who give their time on Christmas day serving others. Not everyone is off on Christmas. Not everyone has food on Christmas. Not everyone is warm and jolly on Christmas. This Christmas let’s bring Christmas to them.